Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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