I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
