I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize