I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize