ugly people sure do ruin things
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
