Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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