Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
