I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Terrible idea I love it
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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