she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is it penis luge time yet?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
