If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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