I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
