Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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