Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize