Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
it's like heaven, but drunker
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
