I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
