I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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