Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
im on a boat
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