You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
