There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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