So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
