Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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