Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
