Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
