wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
