Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
