the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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