u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
