my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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