i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
