I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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