i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Thank you for not boning my boss.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
