Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I need to calm my uterus...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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