Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
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