if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You pole danced in your parka.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
