On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
