I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
