lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
