you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
we're so committed to being not committed
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
