why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
