honey bunches of taint.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize