Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
