She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I could have mohawked her pubes.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
