Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
