She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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