He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
