well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
