She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
