And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
