Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
