We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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