you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
