I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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