Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
