I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
