Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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