that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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