We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
