The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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