Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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