I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my shit smells like andre
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
