I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
